Mountain View, CA, January 29, 2008 -- A spokesman for Google confirmed today the official website of the Republican party, gop.com, has been delisted from the internet search engine due to repeated spelling and syntactical errors.

A Google search for gop.com returns zero results

The spokesman said the decision to delist gop.com was made automatically on the basis of syntactical algorithms, and did not necessarily represent the opinion or action of any human Google employee.

New York, July 19, 2017 -- Team owners of National Football League (NFL) formally approved the new team restrictions, salary caps, rules and official name change for the Professional American & International National Football League (PAINFL).

PAINFL commissioner Adam Sandler explained, “There were a number of factors contributing to the need for this massive overhaul of the NFL. Skyrocketing salaries, teams changing cities, decreased attendance, retired numbers and fewer athletes available, the list goes on, but all of these things all played a part in the need for this drastic change.”

Washington, D.C., November 4, 2006 -- In a press release issued today by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s special Office of Looking on the Bright Side, the administration pointed out that despite continuing widespread and escalating violence in the chaotic region, nearly 21 million Iraqis have not yet been killed or wounded.

This, while a decrease from the 21.5 million not yet killed or wounded highlighted in an earlier announcement, still represents, according to a Rumsfeld spokesmen, "a very large percentage of the populace thus far not yet killed or wounded."

Washington, D.C., May 16, 2007 -- President Bush announced today his "Fresh New Way Forward" plan for Iraq, the strategy for which hinges primarily on the equipping of Iraqi forces with advanced weapons of mass destruction, or WMD.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice explains President Bush's Fresh New Way Forward plan for Iraq