Newt Gingrich Announces Candidacy for Republican Presidential Nomination

Atlanta, Georgia, March 22, 2007 -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, whose career was thought by virtually all observers to have evaporated in a hail of spittle in 1998, announced today that he will be seeking the Republican nomination for president in 2008. The former Speaker had hinted as early as the autumn of 2005 that he "could be cajoled to run, if the voice were soft and silky enough", but only with today's announcement does Mr. Gingrich's candidacy become official.

Federal Minimum Wage Rate Reduced To Button

Washington, D.C., March 22, 2015 -- Despite stiff opposition from Democrats, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives today approved a measure officially reducing the federal minimum wage rate from $5.15 per hour to one button.

Example of the new federal minimum wageExample of the new federal minimum wage

While individual states will still have the right granted by President Clinton to set their own minimum wages higher, no state will henceforth be required to pay workers more than the newly mandated button.

Treasury Sec. Paulson Calls Chain Letter, Lotto Buyback Cures to Deficit Woes

Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008 -- Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr., speaking at the annual meeting of the Conservative Economists' Union, today outlined a plan to alleviate the Bush administration's record federal deficit through "government chain letters and Lotto buyback initiatives".

Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr.Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr.

Pledging "Fresh, Clean Start", Disney Clones Britney

Burbank, CA, July 19, 2008 -- A spokesman for The Walt Disney Company, creator of erratic pop diva Britney Spears, said the company has decided to "cut its losses" and genetically engineer a new, improved Britney Spears using cutting-edge cloning technology.

Britney Spears (version I)Britney Spears (version I)

Ali Baba Archeologists Unearth Saddam's WMD

Tikrit, Iraq, April 30, 2338 -- Archeologists excavating near the Iraqi town of Tikrit last week were startled to discover what may at last be solid evidence of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, or WMD, over 334 years after they were last mentioned publicly.

President Carter Tells All on Three Gorges Disaster Relief Trip

Washington, DC March 3, 2010 -- Former Presidents Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush had "differing views" during their recently completed efforts to raise funds for the victims of the Three Gorges Flood. Jimmy Carter elaborated on what those differing views were during a live interview last night with Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.

While President Carter was pleased with the $267 million donated by Americans as a result of the work coordinated by President Bush and himself, Carter appears to be more relieved to not have to work side-by-side with President Bush any longer.

The Tuvalu Buoy Project: Desperation and Defiance

Funafuti, Tuvalu, October 29, 2006 -- Residents of the tiny nation of Tuvalu have embarked on a remarkable effort to save their homeland from the rising sea levels that are threatening to swamp the string of small islands Tuvalu's inhabitants call home.

Tuvalu (actual size)Tuvalu (actual size)

Time is Accelerating, Study Finds

London, November 29, 2010 -- Do simple things like tying your shoes, brushing your teeth or sitting through someone else's wedding seem to take longer than they once did? Do you generally wake up in the morning feeling cranky and bleary-eyed rather than refreshed and well-rested? Do vacations seem to flit by like a millisecond-long, scarcely remembered dream?

New Creationism Law Flaws Diamond Markets

Johannesburg, April 9, 2011 -- Following the recent successful passage of the controversial Creation Law bill in the United States, an unexpected scientific wrinkle emerged as a consequence that has sent international diamond markets into a dramatic tailspin.

Shiny object formerly known as natural diamondShiny object formerly known as natural diamond

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