NFL Owners Change Name, Game

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New York, July 19, 2017 -- Team owners of National Football League (NFL) formally approved the new team restrictions, salary caps, rules and official name change for the Professional American & International National Football League (PAINFL).

PAINFL commissioner Adam Sandler explained, “There were a number of factors contributing to the need for this massive overhaul of the NFL. Skyrocketing salaries, teams changing cities, decreased attendance, retired numbers and fewer athletes available, the list goes on, but all of these things all played a part in the need for this drastic change.”

India and Pakistan Agree to Share Kashmir in Joint Custody Arrangement

Srinagar, Kashmir, May 29, 2011 -- High-level diplomatic representatives of India and Pakistan announced today the successful conclusion of a dramatic final round of talks over the fate of the disputed Kashmir region. Kashmir, over which India and Pakistan each claim varying degrees of sovereignty, will under the terms of the new agreement be shared equally between the countries in a joint custody arrangement.

NASA Launches First-Ever Faith-Based Space Program

Washington, D.C., April 19, 2010 -- NASA, the United States' National Aeronautics and Space Administration, announced today the launch of the first-ever faith-based space program. The project, working-titled "In God We Thrust", will develop and launch a range of orbital, lunar, and interplanetary space vehicles using entirely faith-based methods of engineering, aeronautics, electronics and astrophysics.

First faith-based NASA moon mission (artist's conception)First faith-based NASA moon mission (artist's conception)

Google WTF Search Delivers

Mountain View, CA April 23, 2008 -- Nearly everyone has misplaced their keys, wallet or cell phone. Everyone has had at least one sock come up missing after the laundry has been completed. At least once a week one of the many remote controls is not where it is supposed to be. The people at Google Labs have now come to the rescue of us all with Google's latest application: Where To Find (WTF).

Motorola Unveils Naomi Campbell Signature Line Assault Cell Phones

Las Vegas, April 7, 2007 -- At the CTIA Wireless 2007 Conference today, telecommunications giant Motorola revealed its latest technological innovation: the Naomi Campbell Signature Edition Assault Cell Phone.

The new cell phone line, according to a spokesman for Motorola, is intended to be "everything to everyone", cutting across demographics and income scales to provide a full-featured, stylish, durable combined wireless communications and personal protection device.

Super Bowl XLIII to Feature Real-time Biometric Player Data

Burbank, California, January 30, 2009 -- For the first time in Super Bowl history, Sunday's Super Bowl XLIII will feature a remarkable collection of live, real-time data on virtually every aspect of each player's physical and mental state –- while they're on the field.

This technological marvel, which will be premiered during Super Bowl XLIII, February 1, 2009 on NBC, is expected to, in the words of NBC spokesman Greg Polanski, "completely revolutionize the way viewers experience sports television."

Microsoft, Micronesia Reach a Deal

Redmond, WA, October 12, 2018 -- "Time to go buy a new globe" was the opening statement by Bill Gates at today’s news conference at Microsoft headquarters in Redmond, Washington. The aging Microsoft founder startled the world this morning in announcing the purchase of Micronesia. "I am pleased to introduce to the world the new country of the Federated States of Microsoftnesia," Gates proclaimed.

Pam Anderson Out-Pumps Arnold Schwarzenegger in California Governor Race

Sacramento, November 7, 2006 -- Pamela Anderson, the popular former Baywatch star, swimwear model, sex symbol and internet vacation video sensation, has trumped former body-builder and action movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger in the hotly contested race for governor of California.

Governor-elect Pamela AndersonGovernor-elect Pamela Anderson

Grover Norquist Drowns in Bathtub

Washington, D.C., June 8, 2025 -- Americans for Tax Reform head Grover Norquist reportedly drowned in his bathtub last Thursday in a freak accident that some witnesses describe as "an unfortunate confluence of mutually destructive events".

Bathtub similar to the one in which Grover Norquist reportedly drowned last weekBathtub similar to the one in which Grover Norquist reportedly drowned last week

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