NSA Wiretap Program Uses Innovative Router-Sniffing Spy Dogs

Fort Meade, Maryland, August 12, 2006 -- With all the controversy surrounding President Bush's illegal NSA (National Security Agency) wiretap surveillance program, some of the benefits and the remarkable technological successes brought into being by the admittedly unconstitutional operation can be easily overlooked. One of these unheralded achievements carries attributes that many will find surprising: namely, four legs and a tail. Meet Mother, the NSA's router-sniffing spy dog.

Howard Stern Claims Fatherhood of Madonna's Malawi Baby

Hollywood, November 12, 2006 -- Veteran broadcaster Howard Stern announced today on his radio show "The Howard Stern Show" that he is the real father of the baby boy adopted last month by Madonna in Malawi, surprising most celebrity gossip columnists, the Malawi Board of Adoptions, the father of the baby himself, and photographer Larry Birkhead, who claims to be the father of both the adopted baby, Madonna, Mr. Stern, and the Malawi Board of Adoptions.

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Sam Brownback Pregnancy May Put Squeeze On Presidential Bid

Ottawa, Kansas, April 6, 2008 -- The presidential campaign of dark-horse candidate Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) may be facing an new hurdle with the announcement that the virulently anti-abortion neo-conservative is pregnant. The Brownback pregnancy is, in the words of campaign press spokesman Diana Herodias, "really not part of the game plan and may create some serious challenges to our crusade for the White House".

Rogue Societe Generale Trader "Just Got His Millions and Billions Mixed Up"

Paris, February 11, 2008 -- Jerome Kerviel, the so-called "rogue trader" whose actions resulted in a staggering $7.2 billion loss last month for French bank Societe Generale, simply got his millions and his billions confused, according to a French police officer who asked not to be identified.

Adoption of Homeless Win-Win For All

New York, NY, February 9, 2011 -- Eleanor Rosenblad sits in her spacious six room Upper East Side apartment sipping tea while her homeless companion Larry Corbett plays with a squeaky gun toy on the floor. "It really does feel fulfilling to be in a position to help people whilst getting something back," Eleanor says, reaching over to rub Larry's head affectionately. Eleanor and Larry are two of many that have found companionship as a solution to the increasing population of homeless and destitute throughout the city.

New Hybrid Locomotive Uses Passengers for Fuel

Bern, Switzerland, June 22, 2009 -- A ground-breaking high-technology hybrid bio-locomotive developed by the European OTG Consortium is slated to make its maiden commercial voyage tomorrow between the cities of Bern, Switzerland and Rome.

Bush On Strike From Carlyle Group For Longer Vacations, Shorter Working Hours

Washington, D.C., September 26, 2009 -- Former President George W. Bush raised eyebrows at the Carlyle Group, his place of employment, today by announcing he will be staging a one-man wildcat strike, effective immediately, for longer vacations and improved working conditions.

The former president, who during his eight-year tenure in the White House spent over five years on vacation and who during his presidency was accustomed to two-hour working days interspersed with naps and lengthy fund-raising junkets, said working conditions at Carlyle were "unaccepticable".

Talking Points Delivery Mix-up Shakes American Right Wing

Washington, D.C., February 22, 2006 -- A mix-up in the labeling of conservative talking points transmitted by the Bush administration yesterday reportedly led to widespread confusion among the extensive network of radio, television and internet commentators used to disseminate the White House's message.

Bush Calls for Constitutional Amendment Protecting Pandering

Washington, D.C., June 28, 2006 -- During a speech delivered in the White House Rose Garden, President George W. Bush today made the case for an important new proposed constitutional amendment, the "Defense of Pandering Amendment".

Under the terms of the proposed amendment, it would become unlawful for journalists, lawmakers and private citizens to publicly identify election-year pandering as election-year pandering during the course of an election-year pandering cycle.

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