Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location

Roanoke, Virginia, March 12, 2008 -- A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said.

Possible undisclosed location of Dick Cheney's undisclosed locationPossible undisclosed location of Dick Cheney's undisclosed location

The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.

Man Divorces Wife

Boston, August 22, 2006 -- Douglas Shale, a certified public accountant from Newton, Massachusetts, recently created an uproar among Marriage Protection Amendment proponents by filing for divorce from Sheila, his wife of nearly 14 months. Spokesmen for numerous conservative and right-wing religious groups denounced Shale's action as "shameful", and vowed to seek legislation to legally block any such future recourse.

President Carter Tells All on Three Gorges Disaster Relief Trip

Washington, DC March 3, 2010 -- Former Presidents Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush had "differing views" during their recently completed efforts to raise funds for the victims of the Three Gorges Flood. Jimmy Carter elaborated on what those differing views were during a live interview last night with Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.

While President Carter was pleased with the $267 million donated by Americans as a result of the work coordinated by President Bush and himself, Carter appears to be more relieved to not have to work side-by-side with President Bush any longer.

Bill Frist Explains the Blind Trust (and Announces Presidential Candidacy)

Tachs-Yelter, Utah, December 22, 2005 -- Hi, Avant News Readers. I'm Senator Bill Frist, a United States Senator from the great state of Tennessee. Best of all, I'm Senate Majority Leader, which means I'm the most important of all the white male millionaires in tailored suits tasked with acting out the people's will until I get indicted, which we all know might not probably happen anytime soon.

President Bush Details Plans for War on Poverty

Wakaya Island, Fiji, April 22, 2006 -- President Bush unveiled sweeping plans for a new "War on Poverty" at a gala $50,000 per couple Republican fundraiser held this weekend at Fiji's stylish Wakaya Club, one of the world's most exclusive beach resorts.

The goal of the poverty initiative, according to Bush, is "to wipe poverty off the face of America within 10 years", an objective embraced by liberals and conservatives alike.

Kansas Education Board Touts Flat Earth Curriculum

May 11, 2006 -- The Kansas Education Board, which gained new momentum in its efforts to "de-emphasize" rational scientific inquiry after a decision last November requiring Kansas teachers to define the widely accepted theory of evolution as "godless Communist propaganda" in favor of creationism, also known as intelligent design, is now promoting a full-fledged faith-based curriculum touted by the board as "the One True Way".

Earth (side view)Earth (side view)

Social Networking Site Digg.com to Replace Traditional Voting in 2008 Elections

Cybersparks, Nebraska, April 12, 2008 -- The popular community-driven news, technology and entertainment site Digg (www.digg.com) has been selected to serve as a novel replacement for traditional paper and electronic ballots in the upcoming November elections.

Digg.com usayay2008.digg.com voting interface screenshotDigg.com usayay2008.digg.com voting interface screenshot

Bush Accuses Democrats of Also Lacking Plan for Iraq

Buttemonch, Oklahoma, October 9, 2008 -- Outgoing President George W. Bush yesterday repeatedly accused Democratic candidates of also having no plan for how to get out of Iraq.

President Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidatesPresident Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidates

The heated assertions came during campaign appearances by President Bush in support of presidential, congressional and senatorial candidates for the upcoming 2008 elections.

Lipodiesels Shine at 2010 LA Auto Show

Los Angeles, November 29, 2010 -- The wraps are off at the 2010 LA Auto Show, and this year the neologism on everyone's lips is the hottest hybrid concept of the millennium: the Ford Lipodiesels™. Three new Ford models featuring the innovative energy-saving technology are scheduled for unveiling in the coming days, and the excitement is palpable.

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