Bird Flu Drug Tamiflu's Primary Ingredient Washed Out in Mudslides
Atlanta, April 22, 2009 -- With bird flu, also known as avian flu, now confirmed to have mutated into a form that can be transmitted human-to-human, international disease control agencies are concerned by a new report that virtually all of this year's star anise crop, a vital component of Tamiflu grown only in four provinces of China, has been wiped out in a series of mudslides brought on by unseasonably strong tropical storms in the region.
Tom DeLay: Tax Cuts, Faith to Prevent Apophis Asteroid Collision
Washington, D.C., February 22, 2027 -- U.S. President Tom DeLay, responding to growing public concern over the potentially imminent catastrophic impact with the earth of the asteroid known as 99942 Apophis, announced yesterday a bold new plan to deflect the problem using the two time-tested cornerstones of the GOP agenda: tax cuts for the wealthy, and faith-based initiatives.
Wingding Institute Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
Oslo, Norway October 10, 2011 -- The Norwegian Nobel Committee shocked the world yesterday when it announced that the controversial Wingding Institute had won the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize beating out such favorites as the United Nations, World Bank and the International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance (IDEA).
Tactical Nuclear Weapons Approved for American Consumers
Washington, D.C., October 9, 2021 -- Marking what may be the final passage in a series of groundbreaking weapons bills, Congress yesterday signed into law the Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill (H.R. 9985: To totally actualize the second amendment rights of all Americans), permitting the legal possession and use of tactical nuclear weapons for hunting and personal protection.
The Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill for the first time allows private citizens to safely, securely vaporize intruders, squirrels or fish
God Loses Dice
White House Indicted in Plamegate Scandal
Washington, D.C., April 11, 2006 -- In a move veteran Washington and Justice Department analysts call "really rare", the White House itself has been indicted in the mushrooming series of scandals surrounding the Bush Administration.
Pat Robertson Retracts God's Wrath Statement on Dover, Pennsylvania School Board
Dover, Pennsylvania, November 14, 2005 -- Pat Robertson, the conservative Christian broadcaster and popular right-wing resident loon, today retracted comments he had made last week on his "700 Club" program warning the citizens of Dover, Pennsylvania that they "better not go crying to God if disaster strikes".
Pat Robertson: Pat Robertson calling down God's wrath on Dover, PA, for rejecting creationism, a.k.a. "intelligent design"
Bill O'Reilly Wins Bill O'Reilly Award
Newark, February 12, 2008 -- Former television and radio broadcasting personality Bill O'Reilly announced today that the nationwide search for a winner in the prestigious first annual Bill O'Reilly Awards for Excellence in Broadcast Journalism has resulted in a surprise victor: Bill O'Reilly.
The Wingnut
Livestock, Pets Harnessed As Important New Energy Resource
Wenatchee, Washington, June 29, 2013 -- A technological breakthrough developed by the Wenatchee, Washington-based startup group Cownetics United Development, Inc. (Nasdaq: CUD) promises to significantly ameliorate the nation's ongoing energy crisis with virtually no negative environmental consequences.
Caninetic and Cownetic turbine units
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