Wakka Wakka, Texas, June 30, 2019 -- Astrological aficionados born in the months of April and May were briefly shocked yesterday to read a chilling prediction posted in the Dallas/Ft.Worth Rancher's Almanac. The horoscope entry, which according to horoscope specialists was an unusually categorical example of the genre, read, simply, "Taurus: You die today."

Taurus – astrological sign (no longer applicable to the living): Image: Digital Sky LLC

Churchill Downs, May 8, 2009 -- Afterburner, the three-year-old thoroughbred who shattered course records yesterday to win the 135th Kentucky Derby, has been disqualified on a technicality, thereby forfeiting his title and the $1.5 million winner's purse. Race officials cite Afterburner's groundbreaking posterior propulsion technique as the reason for the disqualification. Porter Gickle, Afterburner's owner, says he will appeal the decision.

Malibu, February 4, 2011 -- Anna Nicole Smith, the former exotic dancer, Playboy model, weight-loss product spokesperson and failed "reality show" star whose legal struggle to secure a large portion of the estate of her late billionaire husband of nearly nine weeks went as far as the United States Supreme Court before being thrown out in a hail of hysterical spittle, is making headlines again this month in a controversial incident that some observers suggest may have legal implications. Ms.

Washington, D.C., November 12, 2008 -- The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) appears set to respond to pressure from an insistent and shrill phalanx of self-described consumer watchdog groups that have demanded that the well-known TV and radio "bleep" be censored under public airwave obscenity laws. According to the groups, the "bleep", by serving as a placeholder for profanity, itself constitutes profanity, or, as the groups describe it, "meta-profanity".