Washington, D.C., September 26, 2009 -- Former President George W. Bush raised eyebrows at the Carlyle Group, his place of employment, today by announcing he will be staging a one-man wildcat strike, effective immediately, for longer vacations and improved working conditions.

The former president, who during his eight-year tenure in the White House spent over five years on vacation and who during his presidency was accustomed to two-hour working days interspersed with naps and lengthy fund-raising junkets, said working conditions at Carlyle were "unaccepticable".

Washington, D.C., February 3, 2008 -- In an effort to stave off a looming recession in the wake of moribund consumer sentiment, ongoing turmoil in world credit markets and the subprime lending crisis, the White House announced today that major progress has been made on an Electronic Stimulation Package, the final details of which will be announced shortly.

Washington, D.C., February 2, 2007 -- Following the indictment and/or resignation in 2005 and 2006 of virtually the entire West Wing of the White House, President George W. Bush will be trying a new, experimental approach to governing for the remainder of his term with a so-called "reality cabinet" modeled on the popular format used by roughly 33,502 different, if hauntingly similar, television programs.

Waziristan, Pakistan, July 22, 2009 -- After the emergence of a protest vacuum following the brutal slaying of Dr. George R. Tiller of Wichita, Kansas, the anti-abortion organization Operation Rescue led by Troy Newman has relocated to the rocky outcrops of northwestern Afghanistan in order to "refocus" their "pro-life" efforts.