Boehner Rises Above Taint
Washington, D.C., February 13, 2006 -- Recently-elected House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) vowed tonight to "rise above the partisan taint" that has divided capitol hill in recent years.
House Majority Leader John Boehner vows he will rise above tainted government
Taliban Strengthen Grip on People's Republic of South Dakota
South Dakota-Nebraska Border Region, July 19, 2011 -- According to a classified report leaked by the Department of Homeland Insecurity, elements of the radical fundamentalist Taliban are reported to have gained significant ground in the rocky and windswept hillsides of the breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota.
Breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota
Bob Logger's Blogging Blog
Pleasant Hills, CA June 23, 2008 -- Bob Logger is a blogger, but not your typical blogger. Bob blogs on his blog about blogs and better blogging. Whilst many bloggers blog about blogs, Bob Logger's blog, The Bob Logger Blog is a blog that blogs other blogs that blog blogs as well as blogs examples of better blogging techniques - a sort of pedagogue blog.
Lipodiesels Shine at 2010 LA Auto Show
Los Angeles, November 29, 2010 -- The wraps are off at the 2010 LA Auto Show, and this year the neologism on everyone's lips is the hottest hybrid concept of the millennium: the Ford Lipodiesels™. Three new Ford models featuring the innovative energy-saving technology are scheduled for unveiling in the coming days, and the excitement is palpable.
Bush Backs Investment Banker Bonus Bailout In Wake of Subprime Crisis
New York, December 7, 2007 -- President George W. Bush called today for Congress to address a "growing crisis in investment banker bonuses" in the wake of the subprime mortgage disaster.
President Bush speaking at AAWP annual Christmas dinner
US Open Triples Tennis Debut Reviews Mixed
Flushing, NY, September 4, 2014 -- The worldwide premier for professional triples tennis at this year's US Open tournament received mixed reviews from veteran players and commentators, but the overall audience impression was positive. First Round Match 1 in Men's Triples went as predicted, with an easy 6-0, 6-1, 6-1 defeat by favored Andy Roddick, Juan Carlos Ferrero and Rafael Nadal over unseeded players Micael Ivanonavov, Eiliat Prokotoftin and Silininorev Tjuk.
Texas Scientists Clone Twenty Dollar Bill
Abilene, TX, June 19, 2008 -- A research team at Texas Yee & Haw University announced Tuesday that they have successfully performed the first fiduciary cloning procedure on a $20 bill. Using an innovative technique developed at the University's Somatic Sawbuck Laboratory, the Texas scientists extracted DNA from a standard $20 bill, supplied by Earl, the lab maintenance supervisor, and used it to grow an exact replica in an enlarged, rectangular petri dish.
Various Celebrities Reproduce, Wed, Sunbathe: An Avant News Exclusive Exposé
Hollywood, May 12, 2094 -- Shockingly, another week has gone by and it is once again time for the exclusive Avant News celebrity roundup, bringing you the juiciest, most prurient private details of the glamorous lives of your favorite familiar individuals. Our paparazzi and pepperoncini have been out in force this week, more than ever living up to their motto, "We do the stalking because you have to go to work". Let's get started!
Routine Oval Office Search Uncovers Used Harriet Miers Litmus Test
Washington, D.C., October 19, 2005 -- A routine sweep of the White House Oval Office, performed every second Tuesday by the president's Secret Service staff to detect bugging devices and explosives, unexpectedly turned up an embarrassing remnant yesterday near the presidential wastebasket: a used litmus test.
A litmus test similar to the one discovered in the Oval Office.: The actual results of the Miers litmus test have not been disclosed.
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