Ann Arbor, MI February 12, 2006 -- For the last few months Republicans have been ridiculing the criticism coming from Democrats and the majority of the American people by saying the Democrats want to “cut and run” from Iraq. The Republican labeling has now reached a fever pitch even though the Bush Adminstration has not yet made public a plan for exiting Iraq.

During this period wherein Democrats have been deftly dodging the attacks from the Republicans, another group has risen to confront the aggressive tactics of the Republicans – America’s hemophiliacs.

Buttemonch, Oklahoma, October 9, 2008 -- Outgoing President George W. Bush yesterday repeatedly accused Democratic candidates of also having no plan for how to get out of Iraq.

President Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidates

The heated assertions came during campaign appearances by President Bush in support of presidential, congressional and senatorial candidates for the upcoming 2008 elections.

Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008 -- In a move that surprised most pundits, Dick Cheney has offered to “stay on” as Vice President following the conclusion of President Bush's final term.

The offer, which the vice president announced during his regular 7:30 am interview on Fox Morning Talking Points, was extended to both Republican nominee John McCain and Democratic nominee Barack Obama.

Hollywood, May 12, 2094 -- Shockingly, another week has gone by and it is once again time for the exclusive Avant News celebrity roundup, bringing you the juiciest, most prurient private details of the glamorous lives of your favorite familiar individuals. Our paparazzi and pepperoncini have been out in force this week, more than ever living up to their motto, "We do the stalking because you have to go to work". Let's get started!