Ali Baba Archeologists Unearth Saddam's WMD

Tikrit, Iraq, April 30, 2338 -- Archeologists excavating near the Iraqi town of Tikrit last week were startled to discover what may at last be solid evidence of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, or WMD, over 334 years after they were last mentioned publicly.

The Tuvalu Buoy Project: Desperation and Defiance

Funafuti, Tuvalu, October 29, 2006 -- Residents of the tiny nation of Tuvalu have embarked on a remarkable effort to save their homeland from the rising sea levels that are threatening to swamp the string of small islands Tuvalu's inhabitants call home.

Tuvalu (actual size)Tuvalu (actual size)

China First With Citizen RFID Implants

Beijing, March 19, 2010 -- A press release issued by the Chinese government today announced the countrywide implementation of a new high-tech tracking initiative designed to "increase security and prosperity for all citizens of the People's Republic of China."

The plan, detailed by Zhou Bo Kai, chief executive of China's Ministry of Public Security, will involve the implantation of long-range, high-frequency RFID devices in every one of China's estimated 1.4 billion citizens over the next 18 months.

Mitt Romney Campaign Reportedly Sought HGH from John McCain Campaign

Duluth, February 3, 2008 -- A humiliated senior advisor to the Mitt Romney for President campaign admitted yesterday that he on several occasions had “tried to score” HGH, human growth hormone, from members of the John McCain campaign.

The advisor, who agreed to talk to reporters on the condition that he not be identified, said the HGH was not intended for his own use, but rather for Mr. Romney himself, whom the advisor described as a “first-class weenie”.

Candidate McCain Vows Not To Repeat Mistakes of 2000, 2008, 2012 Campaigns

West Palm Beach, Florida, January 12, 2016 -- Republican candidate for president and former senator John McCain, speaking at a campaign rally at the Heaven's Anteroom assisted living facility in West Palm Beach, Florida, today assured potential voters his 2016 campaign for president would not be plagued by "the admitted missteps, blatant pandering, and woeful errors in judgment" that characterized his three previous attempts to reach the Oval Office.

Low-Carb, No-Carb: The Fat's In The Fizz

Fairbanks, AK, March 22, 2012 -- A groundbreaking study into the root causes of obesity has shed new and remarkable light on why Americans are growing ever-heavier. At the heart of the discovery is a key factor that was overlooked for decades simply because, according to the research team, no one ever thought of looking there.

Boehner Rises Above Taint

Washington, D.C., February 13, 2006 -- Recently-elected House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) vowed tonight to "rise above the partisan taint" that has divided capitol hill in recent years.

House Majority Leader John Boehner vows he will rise above tainted governmentHouse Majority Leader John Boehner vows he will rise above tainted government

Bob Logger's Blogging Blog

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Pleasant Hills, CA June 23, 2008 -- Bob Logger is a blogger, but not your typical blogger. Bob blogs on his blog about blogs and better blogging. Whilst many bloggers blog about blogs, Bob Logger's blog, The Bob Logger Blog is a blog that blogs other blogs that blog blogs as well as blogs examples of better blogging techniques - a sort of pedagogue blog.

Bush Accuses Democrats of Also Lacking Plan for Iraq

Buttemonch, Oklahoma, October 9, 2008 -- Outgoing President George W. Bush yesterday repeatedly accused Democratic candidates of also having no plan for how to get out of Iraq.

President Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidatesPresident Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidates

The heated assertions came during campaign appearances by President Bush in support of presidential, congressional and senatorial candidates for the upcoming 2008 elections.

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