Holy See, August 29, 2020 -- The recent discovery of a fossilized lump of human feces believed to have once emerged from the body of Jesus Christ, Son of God, has swept a whirlpool of excitement and controversy throughout the altars of the religious world.

Cave in which fossilized fecal matter of Jesus was discovered

New York and Washington, D.C., January 3, 2009 -- In a development that has surprised political pundits and puzzle enthusiasts alike, The New York Times announced today that President George W. Bush will be replacing retiring puzzle-master Will Shortz as the crossword puzzle editor for The New York Times.

Will Shortz, who has edited the famous New York Times crossword puzzle page since 1993, announced several months ago that he is "bored unto death with squares and letters. Across, down, X, Y, Z… who the hell cares?"

Houston, Texas, June 28, 2009 -- Somali pirates hijacked and have taken control of the International Space Station, NASA sources announced yesterday. The pirates, who approached the vessel using small, inflatable spacerafts, are demanding a ransom "in excess of ten million dollars", according to Dr. Julius Vern, vice-administrator of NASA's International Space Station program, or they will destroy the vessel.

Washington, D.C., November 16, 2005 -- Following is the complete transcript of the Harriet Miers confirmations hearings held by the Senate Judiciary Committee November 7-15, 2005. Following the confirmation hearings a decision will be made by the Committee regarding whether or not to recommend Harriet Miers, a born-again former Texas lottery supervisor, to the full Senate for confirmation as Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

The complete transcript follows:

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