Eternal Cruises Offers Unique Burial Alternative
Tampa, FL, June 30, 2008 -- The small and solemn multitude is clad in traditional blacks and grays, the voices muted, the music played at low volume and in a minor key. But two key factors set this familiar scene apart: enlivening each mourner's respectfully dreary attire is a brightly colored ring of tropical flowers; and the service is taking place on a wharf overlooked by the imposing bulk of one of the world's largest container ships, the 314-meter goliath Thanatos.
Bush and Cheney Issue "Reasons to be Cheerful" Iraq Checklist
Washington, D.C., January 6, 2006 -- Presidents George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney released today a fact-filled "Reasons to be Cheerful" Iraq Checklist in response to growing national dissatisfaction with and debate regarding the preemptive war that many believe was based on false pretenses and intentionally misleading information from the Bush Administration.
Pentagon Beefs Up Iraq Troop Humvee Security With Baby on Board Stickers
Washington, D.C., November 19, 2006 -- Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman announced today the US Defense Department will begin an immediate security upgrade process for soldiers stationed in Iraq by equipping unarmored and up-armored HMMWV vehicles (Humvees) with heavy-duty "Baby on Board" stickers.
Baby on Board Security Enhancer-equipped Humvee
Rush Limbaugh Volunteers for Iraq Tour of Duty
New York, March 12, 2007 -- Rush Limbaugh, the well-known syndicated right-wing radio "dissonance-jockey" and top cheerleader for the ongoing Iraq war, has volunteered to serve an initial 12-month tour of active combat duty in Iraq.
Private Limbaugh's Armored Combat Winnebago
Australia Gears Up Tactical Nuclear Program
Whitefinger, Antartica, May 28, 2039 -- The second round of Australian nuclear testing is now underway, with the above ground detonation of a 200 megaton tactical nuclear device yesterday evening in the Whitefinger Proving Grounds near the Rumpled Territories of Western Antartica, a spokesman for the Australian Ministry of Defense announced today.
Special Report: The 84th Annual Academy Awards
Kodak Theatre, Hollywood, CA, March 5, 2014 -- Drum roll, please. Mere minutes ago, the fateful envelopes were shred. The stars were studded, the gala splendiferous, the suspense: deadly.
Iraqi President Bush May Be Stoned For Blasphemy
Baghdad, Iraq, March 12, 2012 -- Iraqi President George W. Bush is currently in perhaps the most pressing peril of his long political career following a conviction by the highest religious court of Iraq for blasphemy, a crime punishable by death under Iraq's strict Sharia law. Under the ruling, President Bush is scheduled to be executed via public stoning before the next full moon, expected March 30. A spokesman for Bush stated he plans to appeal the ruling.
Harriet Miers Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings: Transcript
Washington, D.C., November 16, 2005 -- Following is the complete transcript of the Harriet Miers confirmations hearings held by the Senate Judiciary Committee November 7-15, 2005. Following the confirmation hearings a decision will be made by the Committee regarding whether or not to recommend Harriet Miers, a born-again former Texas lottery supervisor, to the full Senate for confirmation as Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court.
The complete transcript follows:
Transcript begins -----
Halloween Candy May Cause Obesity, Study Finds
Boulder, October 28, 2008 -- A seven-year dietary and fitness study released today reaches the disturbing conclusion that Halloween candy, long a staple of American holiday witches, goblins, vampires and presidents of all ages, may be a contributing factor in obesity.
The study, which tracked the flab ratios and eating habits of over 4,000 young individuals in 20 cities across the United States, concludes that "Halloween candy, if consumed in excessive quantities, almost certainly contributes to short-term and potentially long-term weight gain."
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