Boehner Rises Above Taint

Washington, D.C., February 13, 2006 -- Recently-elected House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) vowed tonight to "rise above the partisan taint" that has divided capitol hill in recent years.

House Majority Leader John Boehner vows he will rise above tainted governmentHouse Majority Leader John Boehner vows he will rise above tainted government

Taliban Strengthen Grip on People's Republic of South Dakota

South Dakota-Nebraska Border Region, July 19, 2011 -- According to a classified report leaked by the Department of Homeland Insecurity, elements of the radical fundamentalist Taliban are reported to have gained significant ground in the rocky and windswept hillsides of the breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota.

Breakaway Democratic People's Republic of South DakotaBreakaway Democratic People's Republic of South Dakota

Social Networking Site Digg.com to Replace Traditional Voting in 2008 Elections

Cybersparks, Nebraska, April 12, 2008 -- The popular community-driven news, technology and entertainment site Digg (www.digg.com) has been selected to serve as a novel replacement for traditional paper and electronic ballots in the upcoming November elections.

Digg.com usayay2008.digg.com voting interface screenshotDigg.com usayay2008.digg.com voting interface screenshot

Bob Logger's Blogging Blog

Tagged:  

Pleasant Hills, CA June 23, 2008 -- Bob Logger is a blogger, but not your typical blogger. Bob blogs on his blog about blogs and better blogging. Whilst many bloggers blog about blogs, Bob Logger's blog, The Bob Logger Blog is a blog that blogs other blogs that blog blogs as well as blogs examples of better blogging techniques - a sort of pedagogue blog.

Bush Accuses Democrats of Also Lacking Plan for Iraq

Buttemonch, Oklahoma, October 9, 2008 -- Outgoing President George W. Bush yesterday repeatedly accused Democratic candidates of also having no plan for how to get out of Iraq.

President Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidatesPresident Bush touts his No Plan Plan in support of 2008 GOP candidates

The heated assertions came during campaign appearances by President Bush in support of presidential, congressional and senatorial candidates for the upcoming 2008 elections.

Cheney Offers to Stay on as Veep

Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008 -- In a move that surprised most pundits, Dick Cheney has offered to “stay on” as Vice President following the conclusion of President Bush's final term.

The offer, which the vice president announced during his regular 7:30 am interview on Fox Morning Talking Points, was extended to both Republican nominee John McCain and Democratic nominee Barack Obama.

John McCain Politely Refuses Mitt Romney Endorsement

Alexandria, Virginia, February 14, 2008 -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain said tonight he appreciated Mitt Romney's endorsement of his candidacy, announced just hours ago, but that it would undermine virtually every aspect of his “straight talk express” if the 72-year-old senator were to accept the accolade.

Texas Scientists Clone Twenty Dollar Bill

Abilene, TX, June 19, 2008 -- A research team at Texas Yee & Haw University announced Tuesday that they have successfully performed the first fiduciary cloning procedure on a $20 bill. Using an innovative technique developed at the University's Somatic Sawbuck Laboratory, the Texas scientists extracted DNA from a standard $20 bill, supplied by Earl, the lab maintenance supervisor, and used it to grow an exact replica in an enlarged, rectangular petri dish.

Various Celebrities Reproduce, Wed, Sunbathe: An Avant News Exclusive Exposé

Hollywood, May 12, 2094 -- Shockingly, another week has gone by and it is once again time for the exclusive Avant News celebrity roundup, bringing you the juiciest, most prurient private details of the glamorous lives of your favorite familiar individuals. Our paparazzi and pepperoncini have been out in force this week, more than ever living up to their motto, "We do the stalking because you have to go to work". Let's get started!

Copyright © 2005-2505 AvantNews.com. All rights reserved.
Avant News contains satire and other fictional material, provided for entertainment purposes only. Disclaimer. Syndicate. Privacy.