Los Angeles, March 14, 2008 -- It is nothing new for popular musicians to throw their support behind a presidential candidate. Waldo Brumholder and the Whigettes were on the campaign trail for President William Henry Harrison. Frank Sinatra crooned for President John F. Kennedy. Toby Keith wailed in his own patriotic way for President George W. Bush in 2004. However, none of these examples can compare to the massive outpouring of support provided to Barack Obama in his 2008 bid for the presidency.

Salt Lake City, August 22, 2033 -- According to messages posted simultaneously on all Lost and Found bulletin boards in the world, God, considered by many to be an important force in the creation and ongoing maintenance of the universe, has lost his dice and urgently needs them back.

God's dice

Moyock, North Carolina, July 8, 2008 -- While the United States continues to wage its war on terror in locations where terrorists are not originally present, Al-Qaeda (also known as: al-Qaida or al-Qa'ida or al-Qa'idah or al-¿Que?duh) has been stretched to its limits sending terrorists and trainers to assist locals fighting the Americans.

New York, September 17, 2005 -- U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John R. Bolton is making headlines and ruffling feathers this week with a controversial new poverty amelioration plan he terms "Balcony Bling". Bolton, who had been severely critical of U.N. efforts in most arenas prior to his recess appointment as United States representative to the organization, stresses that he sees the need for radical new approaches to, in his opinion, moribund U.N. activities such as the UNDP's poverty reduction program.