Indianapolis Colts' Undefeated NFL Season Questionable
Indianapolis, IN - December 22, 2006 -- After trouncing all the opponents on their schedule this year, the Indianapolis Colts are doing their best to get over the recent kidnapping of their Pro-Bowl quarterback Peyton Manning and are continuing their quest to complete the season at a perfect 16-0.
Miss Universe 2007 Pageant Won By Iittikkupt Wrttkkyl of 55 Cancri System
Bangkok, Thailand, July 9, 2007 -- For the first time since the inauguration of the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant in 1952, the coveted Miss Universe crown will be proudly borne by a being from beyond the Earth's immediate solar system. Dark horse entry Iittikkupt Wrttkkyl of the planet Oog in the 55 Cancri System upset favorites Candee Pakige of California, Sindee del Pinar of Rio de Janeiro and Casynella Ollivierre of St.
Fed Chief Bernanke Ups Interest Rates 1.25% "Just To Mess With People's Heads"
New York, January 30, 2008 -- In a surprise move that has left market analysts worldwide scratching their heads, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke raised, rather than lowered, the discount and fed funds rates by an unprecedented 1.25% this afternoon.
Fed Chief Ben Bernanke
America's 400 Richest Join Forces to Eradicate Poverty, Hunger
New York, November 22, 2005 -- In a stunning development that will improve and save the lives of billions, and perhaps even change the course of history, the 400 wealthiest people in the United States have signed an agreement to each contribute half their assets to a newly formed global fund to fight poverty, hunger and disease.
McDonald's To Open First Lunar Franchise
Sea of Tranquility, March 22, 2015 -- McDonald's, the ubiquitous globe-girdling fast food purveyor, announced today it will be expanding its operations beyond the confines of the earth's atmosphere with the launch of the first lunar franchise. The move marks not only the very first non-terrestrial McDonald's retail dining establishment, but the first non-terrestrial commercial franchise of any kind whatsoever.
The McDonald's McMoon: Full McDonald's McMoon, viewed from rural Pork Knuckle, Idaho
Bush Withdraws Justice Samuel Alito's Supreme Court Nomination
Washington, D.C., March 2, 2006 -- President George W. Bush said today he will be withdrawing his nomination of Justice Samuel Alito to the United States Supreme Court, citing "second thoughts". According to President Bush, Justice Alito, who was swept into the court on a initial tide of nearly universal approval among conservatives, "isn't working out exactly like I planned it".
Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Roanoke, Virginia, March 12, 2008 -- A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said.
Possible undisclosed location of Dick Cheney's undisclosed location
The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.
Ecuadorean Peasant Named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive
Los Angeles, November 14, 2011 -- A previously unknown peasant from the remote hillsides of northern Ecuador, Jorge Rafael Montalvo, has been selected as People's Sexiest Man Alive 2011, a spokesman for the popular human-interest magazine announced today. A stunned and disoriented Mr. Montalvo was revealed to members of the press during a gala celebration in his honor tonight in Los Angeles.
Ecuador
Pledging "Fresh, Clean Start", Disney Clones Britney
Burbank, CA, July 19, 2008 -- A spokesman for The Walt Disney Company, creator of erratic pop diva Britney Spears, said the company has decided to "cut its losses" and genetically engineer a new, improved Britney Spears using cutting-edge cloning technology.
Britney Spears (version I)
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