Ousted Karl Rove Takes New Job With Hugo Chavez

Caracas, Venezuela, December 2, 2006 -- Karl Rove, the Machiavellian strategist credited with major GOP election successes in 2000, 2002 and 2004, was fired by the Bush Administration today, three weeks after the November 7, 2006 massacre that ended the Republican majority in virtually every state and local branch of American government.

Flor del Turd Karl RoveFlor del Turd Karl Rove

GOP.com Delisted From Google For Repeated Syntactic Errors

Mountain View, CA, January 29, 2008 -- A spokesman for Google confirmed today the official website of the Republican party, gop.com, has been delisted from the internet search engine due to repeated spelling and syntactical errors.

A Google search for gop.com returns zero resultsA Google search for gop.com returns zero results

The spokesman said the decision to delist gop.com was made automatically on the basis of syntactical algorithms, and did not necessarily represent the opinion or action of any human Google employee.

Pat Robertson Vaporized By Asteroid Apophis

Lexington, Virginia, April 13, 2029 -- Pat Robertson, the aging former televangelist and radical Christian conservative, was struck and killed today by the widely-feared Apophis asteroid in a freak accident veteran observers are terming "an act of God".

God's Green Acres nursing home, Lexington, Virginia (after Apophis asteroid impact)God's Green Acres nursing home, Lexington, Virginia (after Apophis asteroid impact)

NASA Launches First-Ever Faith-Based Space Program

Washington, D.C., April 19, 2010 -- NASA, the United States' National Aeronautics and Space Administration, announced today the launch of the first-ever faith-based space program. The project, working-titled "In God We Thrust", will develop and launch a range of orbital, lunar, and interplanetary space vehicles using entirely faith-based methods of engineering, aeronautics, electronics and astrophysics.

First faith-based NASA moon mission (artist's conception)First faith-based NASA moon mission (artist's conception)

Citing Faltering Economy, Lawmakers to Forego Cocktails

Washington, D.C., May 19, 2008 -- In a bi-partisan, largely symbolic gesture intended to draw attention to the faltering US economy and its impact on the vanishing middle class, Congress agreed today to no longer provide free booze at government-sponsored events. The BYOB agreement is expected to save American taxpayers up to $291 million annually.

Swedish Youth Randomly Types First Two Acts of Hamlet

Stockholm, Sweden, August 25, 2008 -- Gustav Gustavsson and his wife Åsa were startled earlier in the week to find that their four year old son, Axel, had randomly typed the first two acts of Hamlet whilst playing at his father’s computer.

Gustav said that on Monday afternoon he walked into his office in the basement to find Axel “pounding away” on the keyboard. After Gustav sent his son from his office and sat down at his computer he made a startling discovery.

President Bush Nabbed In Effort to Alter Own Wikipedia Entry

Wikispace, December 19, 2008 -- Outgoing President George W. Bush was caught yesterday attempting to polish his biographical entry on Wikipedia, sources close to the reclusive commander-in-chief admitted. The effort was immediately spotted by members of Wikipedia's large group of volunteer editors, who described President Bush's revisionist online foray as "comically inept".

President Bush attempts to alter own Wikipedia entry: Photograph by anonymous aidePresident Bush attempts to alter own Wikipedia entry: Photograph by anonymous aide

Study Suggests Malaise May Be Linked to Angst

Torpor, North Dakota, March 9, 2008 -- Partial results released today from a $200 million Umbilicus Observation Center study into psychological conditions indicate that angst may be a significant contributing factor to sufferers of malaise, particularly in adolescents, and vice versa. Other factors may include ennui, lassitude, butterflies, jitters, apathy, doldrums and the heebie-jeebies.

Howard Stern Claims Fatherhood of Madonna's Malawi Baby

Hollywood, November 12, 2006 -- Veteran broadcaster Howard Stern announced today on his radio show "The Howard Stern Show" that he is the real father of the baby boy adopted last month by Madonna in Malawi, surprising most celebrity gossip columnists, the Malawi Board of Adoptions, the father of the baby himself, and photographer Larry Birkhead, who claims to be the father of both the adopted baby, Madonna, Mr. Stern, and the Malawi Board of Adoptions.

Some random babySome random baby

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