New Hybrid Locomotive Uses Passengers for Fuel

Bern, Switzerland, June 22, 2009 -- A ground-breaking high-technology hybrid bio-locomotive developed by the European OTG Consortium is slated to make its maiden commercial voyage tomorrow between the cities of Bern, Switzerland and Rome.

Bush On Strike From Carlyle Group For Longer Vacations, Shorter Working Hours

Washington, D.C., September 26, 2009 -- Former President George W. Bush raised eyebrows at the Carlyle Group, his place of employment, today by announcing he will be staging a one-man wildcat strike, effective immediately, for longer vacations and improved working conditions.

The former president, who during his eight-year tenure in the White House spent over five years on vacation and who during his presidency was accustomed to two-hour working days interspersed with naps and lengthy fund-raising junkets, said working conditions at Carlyle were "unaccepticable".

Videotape Proves Bush White House-Trained First Puppy on U.S. Constitution

Washington, D.C., January 21, 2009 -- A videotape discovered in a secret compartment of former president George W. Bush's Oval Office desk has revealed that the United States Constitution, missing since early 2001, was used by President Bush to "White House-train" first dog Barney.

White House First Dog Barney reclining on soiled U.S. Constitution, Oval Office: Video stillWhite House First Dog Barney reclining on soiled U.S. Constitution, Oval Office: Video still

The videotape was found by White House transition staff during the traditional clearing-out of the ex-president's effects.

Dick Cheney Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom

Washington, D.C., August 9, 2006 -- Vice President Dick Cheney has been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bush, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced today. Cheney thereby joins the ranks of other top-level officials whom Bush has honored with the prestigious award, including former Iraq CPA head L. Paul Bremer, General Tommy Franks, and former CIA director George Tenet. Vice President Cheney issued no public response to the honor and has been unavailable for comment.

Iraq Study Group Report Includes $25 Million Reward for Exit Strategy

Washington, D.C., December 11, 2006 -- After nine months of intensive deliberations, the bipartisan Iraq Study Group has finally released its long-awaited Iraq Study Group Report in which the prestigious think tank concludes: "The Iraq Study Group will offer $25 million to anyone who can come up with a viable solution to the Iraq quagmire because, frankly, we're stumped".

ISG co-chairs James A. Baker III and Lee H. HamiltonISG co-chairs James A. Baker III and Lee H. Hamilton

President George W. Bush is said to be "real happy" about the findings.

President Ron Paul Deported Under Ron Paul's No Amnesty Law

Washington, D.C., March 29, 2009 -- President Ron Paul was deported this morning to his ancestral home of Krakpotka, Ukraine, under the terms of the controversial Ron Paul's No Amnesty, No Welfare for Illegal Aliens Act.

Former President Ron Paul on his return to Dnipropetrovsk Airport, UkraineFormer President Ron Paul on his return to Dnipropetrovsk Airport, Ukraine

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