'Finnegans Wake' Movie Review
Hollywood, November 9, 2007 -- Oliver Stone’s latest movie, Finnegans Wake is based on the James Joyce novel by the same name and takes us on a curious journey from somewhere to somewhere else with a few twists along the road. Harold Pinter, English author and winner of the 2005 Nobel Prize in Literature, assisted Mr. Stone with moving the book from words to actions by solidifying the screenplay.
NFL Owners Change Name, Game
New York, July 19, 2017 -- Team owners of National Football League (NFL) formally approved the new team restrictions, salary caps, rules and official name change for the Professional American & International National Football League (PAINFL).
PAINFL commissioner Adam Sandler explained, “There were a number of factors contributing to the need for this massive overhaul of the NFL. Skyrocketing salaries, teams changing cities, decreased attendance, retired numbers and fewer athletes available, the list goes on, but all of these things all played a part in the need for this drastic change.”
Nearly 21 Million Iraqis Not Yet Killed
Washington, D.C., November 4, 2006 -- In a press release issued today by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s special Office of Looking on the Bright Side, the administration pointed out that despite continuing widespread and escalating violence in the chaotic region, nearly 21 million Iraqis have not yet been killed or wounded.
This, while a decrease from the 21.5 million not yet killed or wounded highlighted in an earlier announcement, still represents, according to a Rumsfeld spokesmen, "a very large percentage of the populace thus far not yet killed or wounded."
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to Defuse North Korea's Nuclear Ambitions
Los Angeles, October 11, 2007 -- Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, three times voted leading members of the paparazzi "glutterati" squad, have been selected by President Bush to lead the diplomatic charge against North Korea's newfound nuclear club membership.
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, U.S. diplomatic envoys to North Korea
Wider Panama Canal Makes Room for Airbus A380
Isthmus of Panama, August 8, 2014 -- The ambitious, eight-year project to widen the Panama Canal is now complete, with the inaugural transit of the first Airbus A380 Superjumbo scheduled to take place on August 15.
Panama Canal (detail)
Bush Sees WMD as Key to Fresh New Way Forward in Iraq
Washington, D.C., May 16, 2007 -- President Bush announced today his "Fresh New Way Forward" plan for Iraq, the strategy for which hinges primarily on the equipping of Iraqi forces with advanced weapons of mass destruction, or WMD.
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice explains President Bush's Fresh New Way Forward plan for Iraq
Microsoft, Micronesia Reach a Deal
Redmond, WA, October 12, 2018 -- "Time to go buy a new globe" was the opening statement by Bill Gates at today’s news conference at Microsoft headquarters in Redmond, Washington. The aging Microsoft founder startled the world this morning in announcing the purchase of Micronesia. "I am pleased to introduce to the world the new country of the Federated States of Microsoftnesia," Gates proclaimed.
NSA Secretely Wiretapped Jesus, Discloses Senate Panel
Washington, D.C., August 29, 2006 -- The National Security Agency (NSA) extensively wiretapped and conducted other surveillance activities targeting Jesus of Nazareth over a period of at least four years, a report issued by the Special Senate Investigative Panel into Unlawful Domestic Surveillance Activities disclosed today.
Jesus (artist's impression)
Rogue Goose Foils Final Missile Shield Test
Hurricane Harbor, California, October 27, 2008 -- An errant Canada goose has been blamed for the failure of the 25th and final test of George W. Bush's missile shield, a defense department spokesman said today.
A "gimpy goose" such as that held responsible for latest missile shield failure
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