President Ron Paul Deported Under Ron Paul's No Amnesty Law

Washington, D.C., March 29, 2009 -- President Ron Paul was deported this morning to his ancestral home of Krakpotka, Ukraine, under the terms of the controversial Ron Paul's No Amnesty, No Welfare for Illegal Aliens Act.

Former President Ron Paul on his return to Dnipropetrovsk Airport, UkraineFormer President Ron Paul on his return to Dnipropetrovsk Airport, Ukraine

Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper to Make “Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies”

Malibu, California, February 24, 2008 -- At a rambunctious, rowdy, star-studded post-Oscar afterparty tonight here in Malibu, California, actors Dennis Hopper and Jack Nicholson announced they will be producing and starring in Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies, a sequel to the cult classic Easy Rider, sometime in the coming year.

Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper announce upcoming production of Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old HippiesJack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper announce upcoming production of Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies

Final Drafts of William Shakespeare's Manuscripts Found

Stratford-Upon-Avon, June 16, 2044 -- In the remains of a demolished pub on the outskirts of Stratford-Upon-Avon, a group of amateur archeologists have uncovered what may be the most sensational literary discovery of the century.

William Shakespeare. Good writer, bad editor.William Shakespeare. Good writer, bad editor.

Tactical Nuclear Weapons Approved for American Consumers

Washington, D.C., October 9, 2021 -- Marking what may be the final passage in a series of groundbreaking weapons bills, Congress yesterday signed into law the Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill (H.R. 9985: To totally actualize the second amendment rights of all Americans), permitting the legal possession and use of tactical nuclear weapons for hunting and personal protection.

The Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill for the first time allows private citizens to safely, securely vaporize intruders, squirrels or fishThe Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill for the first time allows private citizens to safely, securely vaporize intruders, squirrels or fish

Somali Pirates Hijack International Space Station

Houston, Texas, June 28, 2009 -- Somali pirates hijacked and have taken control of the International Space Station, NASA sources announced yesterday. The pirates, who approached the vessel using small, inflatable spacerafts, are demanding a ransom "in excess of ten million dollars", according to Dr. Julius Vern, vice-administrator of NASA's International Space Station program, or they will destroy the vessel.

Playboy University Enrolls First Class of Coeds

Beverly Hills, CA September 11, 2009 -- Donna Perkowski is not your typical college freshman. This 21 year old coed already has a résumé stacked with work experience and accomplishments. While her sexy set of credentials are massive, she feels that a university degree from Playboy University will thrust her toward one of the top positions within her field.

Bronze bust of Pamela Anderson's bust in the admissions office welcomes Playboy University coedsBronze bust of Pamela Anderson's bust in the admissions office welcomes Playboy University coeds

Super Bowl XLIII to Feature Real-time Biometric Player Data

Burbank, California, January 30, 2009 -- For the first time in Super Bowl history, Sunday's Super Bowl XLIII will feature a remarkable collection of live, real-time data on virtually every aspect of each player's physical and mental state –- while they're on the field.

This technological marvel, which will be premiered during Super Bowl XLIII, February 1, 2009 on NBC, is expected to, in the words of NBC spokesman Greg Polanski, "completely revolutionize the way viewers experience sports television."

Ashton Kutcher to Host Twitter's Reality TV Show

San Francisco, CA, July 13, 2009 -- Yesterday saw the surprising announcement that Twitter has brought Ashton Kutcher onboard to host its upcoming reality TV show. The show, Thy Tweeting Twit, is planned to debut this fall on FOX and will be direct sent from a location yet to be determined somewhere in the county of Warwickshire, England.

To tweet or not to tweet, that is the questionTo tweet or not to tweet, that is the question

World Leader, Inc. World Leader at World Leading

January 1, 2522 -- //PRPressReleaseV22.2// -- World Leader, Inc. [NYSE:WLI], a world leader at world leading, announced today that for the third consecutive year it continues to lead the world at leading the world at world leading. The announcement was made at a press availability prior to the annual World Leader World Leader awards, presented annually by World Leader, Inc.

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