Human Error Cited in Rove Exorcism SNAFU
Washington, D.C., November 27, 2007 -- Human error was cited as the cause of the latest failure to exorcise what leading demonologists have termed "an unprecedented can of infernal worms" from the tormented soul of White House Special Advisor Karl Rove.
AutoChat Fills the Solo Driver's Cell Phone Void
Singapore, August 29, 2008 -- With worldwide automotive cell phone use becoming a thing of the past due to increasingly stringent safety restrictions, Singapore-based CarMate Industries has announced a new product that aims to fill the resulting void in conversation: AutoChat. AutoChat, according to company spokesman Ni Kwai, is a fully-automated, AI-capable automotive speaking companion mainly targeting solo drivers that can engage in lively and prolonged "real-time" conversations on a wide variety of topics.
No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge Signers In Right to Die Dilemma
Washington, D.C., June 29, 2007 -- Several of the small group of stem cell research opponents who signed the controversial "No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge" last fall are now embroiled in a legal dilemma since contracting various terminal diseases, all of which can be easily cured using medical procedures developed through embryonic stem cell research.
CERN and NIH Race To Map Oprah's Ego
Basel, April 18, 2019 -- Five years after Brown Thursday and the total collapse of the New New Genomiconomy, legions of unemployable genomicists have found hope in a new venture: mapping the ego of thin-again, fat-again American talk show diva Oprah Winfrey.
Rod and Reel Method May Save International Space Station
Washington, D.C., May 22, 2021 -- A groundbreaking new orbital transportation technique announced by NASA today may hasten the long-delayed completion of the International Space Station (ISS).
Astronaut Chrissie Buglebong attaches prototype rod and reel device during a dry run simulation
Maine Voters Outlaw Homo Sapiens Marriage in Referendum
Bangcock, Maine, November 5, 2009 -- A coalition of apparently easily confused Maine voters last night voted overwhelmingly, by a ratio of 50.24 to 49.86 percent, a new state law, titled "The Defense of Marriage Act", to "prohibit Homo sapiens marriage as well as to retroactively render null and void any previously codified unlawful marriages between consenting Homo sapiens that may have shamefully taken place up to and including the date of the final vote tally."
Rocky Start for Iraqi Adopt-a-Highway Program
Washington, D.C., March 16, 2007 -- The Iraqi Adopt-a-Highway Program, launched with considerable fanfare and high expectations last October, has thus far proved to be a "disappointment", according to a high-level U.S. Defense Department source who asked to remain anonymous. According to the source, subscriptions to the program have reached less than two percent of initial projections, with current trends indicating modest to virtually non-existent growth.
Iraqi Adopt-a-Highway Sign
Japanese Domestic Robot Performs Unwanted Extreme Home Makeover
Osaka, Japan, April 12, 2011 -- Honda Motor Company's technology division may soon face a legal challenge from an irate homeowner who claims his Honda ASIMO Series XII, a small, humanoid domestic robot, performed an "extreme home makeover" on the owner's suburban Osaka residence while the owner was away on business.
Kitchen of Mr. Ozaki's home following ASIMO makeover
Entire Cast of Survivor Guatemala Killed in Nuclear Bunker-Buster Test Blunder
Guatemala City, Guatemala, December 2, 2005 -- Fans and viewers of the popular CBS reality television show Survivor Guatemala: The Maya Empire were dealt a disappointing blow with the admission by the US Defense Department that it had inadvertently vaporized the entire remaining cast in a nuclear weapons testing blunder yesterday.
A spokesman for CBS said the incident was "regrettable", but added that the network plans to continue the series with a resurrected cast of surviving former Survivors under the name Survivor Guatemala: The Day After.
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