Alexandria, Virginia, February 14, 2008 -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain said tonight he appreciated Mitt Romney's endorsement of his candidacy, announced just hours ago, but that it would undermine virtually every aspect of his “straight talk express” if the 72-year-old senator were to accept the accolade.

Amsterdam, June 19, 2010 -- Greenpeace, the activist group known for its risky, but non-combative, worldwide efforts to protect the environment, declared today it has officially renounced non-violent tactics.

The Terminal Avenger, now with torpedoes

The act is seen as a reaction to an increasingly hostile activist environment that has frequently pitted Greenpeace in one-sided violent confrontation against both anti-environmentalist corporate interests and the often corrupt governments that support them.

Washington, D.C., January 4, 2006 -- Britney Spears will be the new Bush nominee for Supreme Court Justice, replacing Harriet Miers, whose nomination was recently withdrawn in the face of overwhelming bipartisan public sniggering. Close observers of the Miers fracas have pointed out that Bush's withdrawal of Miers' nomination was actually little more than a technicality, given that the Senate, in a rare moment of bipartisanship, had already voted 93-7 against confirmation last November.

Washington, D.C., February 28, 2006 -- Following the near-complete destruction of the White House last week in Hurricane Florence, President Bush performed a virtual about-face and announced today a new proactive administration position on what he termed "the war against earth heating".