Citigroup, Bank of America Announce ATM Instant Equity Exchange Program

New York, April 6, 2009 -- Citigroup (NYSE: C) and Bank of America (NYSE: BAC) today jointly announced the launch of an innovative program, dubbed ATM Instant Equity Exchange, under which the two banks will commence dispensing stock vouchers rather than cash from ATMs under their control. Wells Fargo (NYSE: WFC) is expected to sign on to the program later in the week.

Citibank, co-founder of the AIEE! program: Photo (CC) Ed Yourdon.Citibank, co-founder of the AIEE! program: Photo (CC) Ed Yourdon.

Federal Minimum Wage Rate Reduced To Button

Washington, D.C., March 22, 2015 -- Despite stiff opposition from Democrats, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives today approved a measure officially reducing the federal minimum wage rate from $5.15 per hour to one button.

Example of the new federal minimum wageExample of the new federal minimum wage

While individual states will still have the right granted by President Clinton to set their own minimum wages higher, no state will henceforth be required to pay workers more than the newly mandated button.

Alabama Savant Invents Transistor, Cell Phone, Telegraph

Carbon Hill, Alabama, October 3, 2010 -- His name is Artemus K. Yooley, but most folks around here know him as DiCaprio, or sometimes just plain Leonardo. Most folks around here were probably thinking of DaVinci when they called him that, but no matter.

Artemus K. YooleyArtemus K. Yooley

The Tuvalu Buoy Project: Desperation and Defiance

Funafuti, Tuvalu, October 29, 2006 -- Residents of the tiny nation of Tuvalu have embarked on a remarkable effort to save their homeland from the rising sea levels that are threatening to swamp the string of small islands Tuvalu's inhabitants call home.

Tuvalu (actual size)Tuvalu (actual size)

Bird Flu Drug Tamiflu's Primary Ingredient Washed Out in Mudslides

Atlanta, April 22, 2009 -- With bird flu, also known as avian flu, now confirmed to have mutated into a form that can be transmitted human-to-human, international disease control agencies are concerned by a new report that virtually all of this year's star anise crop, a vital component of Tamiflu grown only in four provinces of China, has been wiped out in a series of mudslides brought on by unseasonably strong tropical storms in the region.

Australia Gears Up Tactical Nuclear Program

Whitefinger, Antartica, May 28, 2039 -- The second round of Australian nuclear testing is now underway, with the above ground detonation of a 200 megaton tactical nuclear device yesterday evening in the Whitefinger Proving Grounds near the Rumpled Territories of Western Antartica, a spokesman for the Australian Ministry of Defense announced today.

Chronic Armpit Rash Source of George W. Bush Swagger

Crawford, Texas, June 22, 2059 -- The signature swagger of the late US President George W. Bush (2001-2009) was the result of a persistent armpit rash, newly discovered archival material shows.

Underarm irritation source of late president George W. Bush's peculiar walking postureUnderarm irritation source of late president George W. Bush's peculiar walking posture

President Bush 'Ownz' on Runescape

Washington, January 14, 2007 -- Prior to the November 7 midterm elections, many political analysts wondered how President Bush would handle the last two years of his presidency if the Democrats seized control of the Congress. Nearly all agreed it would be a lonely time for a President accustomed to being surrounded by friends in Congress. None of the analyst's observations included the possibility that President Bush would retreat from the world stage to the world of online gaming.

No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge Signers In Right to Die Dilemma

Washington, D.C., June 29, 2007 -- Several of the small group of stem cell research opponents who signed the controversial "No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge" last fall are now embroiled in a legal dilemma since contracting various terminal diseases, all of which can be easily cured using medical procedures developed through embryonic stem cell research.

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