Hephzibah, South Carolina, October 30, 2007 -- A Hephzibah, South Carolina pumpkin farmer wins this year's annual "World's Smallest Pumpkin" contest with a record-small 0.23 inch (0.5842 cm) diameter, perfectly formed miniature example of the popular pulpy orange Halloween seasonal fruit.

Ozzie Crenshaw's World's Smallest Pumpkin

The farmer, Ozzie Crenshaw, said he was "real excited" to have captured the grand prize at this year's prestigious event.

Washington, D.C., March 19, 2007 -- Investigators poking the exposed underbelly of the otherwise heavily armored U.S. Department of Defense have uncovered a secret program that some have characterized a Machiavellian conspiracy, others a "collaboration of innovators", to boost future Army recruitment levels through genetic testing of embryos.

Army spokesman Rusty P. Grunt acknowledged the existence of the controversial program, known within the Defense Department as "Project G.I. Gene", but assured reporters there was nothing "ethically reprehensible" about it.

Washington, D.C., November 12, 2008 -- The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) appears set to respond to pressure from an insistent and shrill phalanx of self-described consumer watchdog groups that have demanded that the well-known TV and radio "bleep" be censored under public airwave obscenity laws. According to the groups, the "bleep", by serving as a placeholder for profanity, itself constitutes profanity, or, as the groups describe it, "meta-profanity".