Organic Windows Vista Virus Can Target Computers Even When Powered Down

Bolton, Wyoming, March 29, 2007 -- A new threat affecting Microsoft Windows Vista, the widely anticipated operating system already plagued by major bug issues and release delays, may seriously limit industry rollout, security analysts said today.

Closeup of the Vista Dysentery.Net-Worm virusCloseup of the Vista Dysentery.Net-Worm virus

Democrats To Launch National Exorcism Campaign

Washington, DC March 12, 2007 -- As Gov. Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee (DNC), and his staff looked through the results from the 2006 midterm elections and compared them to entrance and exit polls it became apparent that something wasn't right with this election. Once again, the Republicans overcame the odds and handed the Democrats a startling defeat in their bid to gain the majority in Congress.

Avant News Job Interview Tips: How to Fake the Liver Biopsy

Macon, Georgia, September 22, 2010 -- A recent survey performed by the Online Job-Seekers Bureau found that increasingly stringent rules for potential job applicants now frequently include such measures as requiring that liver biopsies, brain samples, and loyalty oaths be submitted along with a resume.A spokesman for the Online Job-Seekers Bureau said he found the trend "understandable, but troubling".

Weather Report for April 19, 2078

April 19, 2078

Eastern

Coastal areas of the United States should expect several small hurricanes running from Maine as far south as New Jersey. Winds to be averaging 60-80 mph, with peaks in the low hundreds. Temperature in the mid 90s.

Central

A low-pressure system over Indiana and Illinois will likely result in some unseasonable blizzards. Residents of southeastern Iowa are recommended to remain indoors during the late afternoon, due to the risk of high-speed hailstorms.

In Surprise About-Face, Bill Clinton Backs Obama

Chicago, February 5, 2008 -- Astounding political pundits from Anchorage to Miami, former president Bill Clinton has rescinded his endorsement of spouse Hillary Clinton in favor of rock star Senator Barack Obama.

The endorsement, which some believe may create friction in the suburban Chappaqua home of Bill and Hillary Clinton, was explained by the former president as "a case of conscience over comfort."

Bush Sees WMD as Key to Fresh New Way Forward in Iraq

Washington, D.C., May 16, 2007 -- President Bush announced today his "Fresh New Way Forward" plan for Iraq, the strategy for which hinges primarily on the equipping of Iraqi forces with advanced weapons of mass destruction, or WMD.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice explains President Bush's Fresh New Way Forward plan for IraqSecretary of State Condoleezza Rice explains President Bush's Fresh New Way Forward plan for Iraq

New Hybrid Locomotive Uses Passengers for Fuel

Bern, Switzerland, June 22, 2009 -- A ground-breaking high-technology hybrid bio-locomotive developed by the European OTG Consortium is slated to make its maiden commercial voyage tomorrow between the cities of Bern, Switzerland and Rome.

Nostalgic Bush Says FY09 Budget "Last Chance to Shaft the Poor"

Washington, D.C., February 12, 2008 -- An unusually somber and introspective President George W. Bush, presenting the details of his $3.1 trillion fiscal year 2009 budget proposal for members of the American Plutocrats Union, a conservative group, lamented that the budget proposal represents his “last chance to shaft the poor.” He urged the assembled audience to do “everything in their powers” to convince their elected representatives that the budget proposal represented an historic opportunity that may not return for a decade or more.

Tastes Like Chicken? Not Possible, Scientists Find

Macon, Georgia, October 11, 2014 -- Scientists at the respected St. Ambrose Poultry Institute of Macon, Georgia have at last dispelled the widely held misperception that virtually every moderately unusual food tastes like chicken by proving that, in point of fact, nothing does.

"We've proven that, contrary to popular belief, it's actually a scientific impossibility for any known commonly consumed dietary substance to resemble the flavor of chicken," said Skinwood Neckle, Research Director at the Institute's Comparative Flavor Analysis section.

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