Washington, D.C., June 29, 2007 -- Several of the small group of stem cell research opponents who signed the controversial "No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge" last fall are now embroiled in a legal dilemma since contracting various terminal diseases, all of which can be easily cured using medical procedures developed through embryonic stem cell research.

Sioux City, Iowa – March 29, 2019 – A three-year study performed by the respected Group for the Logical Reassessment of Paradoxical Phraseology (GLIBB) in Sioux City, Iowa has revealed that less is in fact less, rather than more, than more.

Van Gogh self-portrait: "lessened" version

The determination is expected to have a wide-reaching impact on the manufacture and distribution of homely aphorisms throughout the American Midwest, a $3 billion a year industry.

Los Angeles, California January 15, 2009 -- As the saying goes, "for every good idea there are dozens of bad ideas." Rather than sort through the dozens of bad ideas and horrible inventions released onto the unwary public this year, the Avant News Consumer Advisory Committee along with the Avant News Public Awareness Department put together the following list of the 10 Worst Ideas and Inventions of 2008:

Albuquerque, January 10, 2011 -- Scientists at the respected Gray Matter Thinkorium in Albuquerque, New Mexico announced today the first successful test of a dramatic new method for generating clean, renewable energy using excess power from the human brain.

The technique, dubbed Neural Oscillatory Telegenesis (NOT), employs, in the words of chief researcher Alonzo Pinq, "cognitive dissonance, the source of a nearly constant supply of powerful, unused human brainwave activity" to generate virtually limitless quantities of emissions-free electricity.