Using the strange properties of quantum symmetry, a delicious splash of fresh-squeezed orange juice and a decompressed black hole, our Observer is periodically able to observe and illuminate certain newsworthy tidbits from your present time. Here are the results:
On November 24, 2010, the mischievous Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK), also known as North Korea, launch a artillery attack against South Korea. This attack is the latest in a series of aggressive activities by Pyongyang since the ceasefire of the Korean War in 1953. Our experts, following numerous minutes of skimming articles in the New York Post, Fox News and Mad magazine, have have come up with 5 reasons why North Korea wants to wage war with South Korea and ultimately start World War III.
On November 17, 2009 the American public witnessed the release of Sarah Palin's tell-all book, "Going Rogue: An American Life". Here are some previously unknown facts about the book.
- This is the first book officially endorsed by the NRA as a weapon for hunting wolves (assuming it's thrown hard enough from a helicopter).
Given the flood of recent consumer reports of iRobot Roomba robotic vacuum cleaners acquiring higher cognitive function, often with disastrous results for home and homeowner, we have compiled this handy list of methods by which conscientious Roomba owners can extinguish the spark of consciousness in your domestic appliance:
- Really!? Here most people were led to believe he was just a very late bloomer.
- Apparently the same court documents also revealed that bears actually do shit in the woods.
- Him having the munchies now allows the public to understand how Michael Phelps is able to eat 15,000 calories per day. Two things that have rarely been spotted in the wild: a fat pot head or a fat swimmer.