Alabama Savant Invents Transistor, Cell Phone, Telegraph
Carbon Hill, Alabama, October 3, 2010 -- His name is Artemus K. Yooley, but most folks around here know him as DiCaprio, or sometimes just plain Leonardo. Most folks around here were probably thinking of DaVinci when they called him that, but no matter.
Artemus K. Yooley
No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge Signers In Right to Die Dilemma
Washington, D.C., June 29, 2007 -- Several of the small group of stem cell research opponents who signed the controversial "No Stem Cell Treatment Pledge" last fall are now embroiled in a legal dilemma since contracting various terminal diseases, all of which can be easily cured using medical procedures developed through embryonic stem cell research.
China First With Citizen RFID Implants
Beijing, March 19, 2010 -- A press release issued by the Chinese government today announced the countrywide implementation of a new high-tech tracking initiative designed to "increase security and prosperity for all citizens of the People's Republic of China." The plan, detailed by Zhou Bo Kai, chief executive of China's Ministry of Public Security, will involve the implantation of long-range, high-frequency RFID devices in every one of China's estimated 1.4 billion citizens over the next 18 months.
McDonald's To Open First Lunar Franchise
Sea of Tranquility, March 22, 2015 -- McDonald's, the ubiquitous globe-girdling fast food purveyor, announced today it will be expanding its operations beyond the confines of the earth's atmosphere with the launch of the first lunar franchise. The move marks not only the very first non-terrestrial McDonald's retail dining establishment, but the first non-terrestrial commercial franchise of any kind whatsoever.
The McDonald's McMoon: Full McDonald's McMoon, viewed from rural Pork Knuckle, Idaho
Ecuadorean Peasant Named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive
Los Angeles, November 14, 2011 -- A previously unknown peasant from the remote hillsides of northern Ecuador, Jorge Rafael Montalvo, has been selected as People's Sexiest Man Alive 2011, a spokesman for the popular human-interest magazine announced today. A stunned and disoriented Mr. Montalvo was revealed to members of the press during a gala celebration in his honor tonight in Los Angeles.
Ecuador
3rd Iraq Study Group Report Calls for Iterative –Izations
Washington, D.C., December 6, 2016 -- The 3rd Iraq Study Group Report, delivered by its distinguished panel to the president and released to the American public today, calls for "an iterative process of –izing things, with the order of –izations to be varied both stochastically and in accordance with prevailing conditions on the ground." Excerpts from the Executive Summary of the 3rd Iraq Study Group Report follow:
3rd Iraq Study Group Report
Letter from the Co-Chairs
Bob Logger's Blogging Blog
Pleasant Hills, CA June 23, 2008 -- Bob Logger is a blogger, but not your typical blogger. Bob blogs on his blog about blogs and better blogging. Whilst many bloggers blog about blogs, Bob Logger's blog, The Bob Logger Blog is a blog that blogs other blogs that blog blogs as well as blogs examples of better blogging techniques - a sort of pedagogue blog.
Tactical Nuclear Weapons Approved for American Consumers
Washington, D.C., October 9, 2021 -- Marking what may be the final passage in a series of groundbreaking weapons bills, Congress yesterday signed into law the Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill (H.R. 9985: To totally actualize the second amendment rights of all Americans), permitting the legal possession and use of tactical nuclear weapons for hunting and personal protection.
The Homeowners Fission Liberty Bill for the first time allows private citizens to safely, securely vaporize intruders, squirrels or fish
Somali Pirates Hijack International Space Station
Houston, Texas, June 28, 2009 -- Somali pirates hijacked and have taken control of the International Space Station, NASA sources announced yesterday. The pirates, who approached the vessel using small, inflatable spacerafts, are demanding a ransom "in excess of ten million dollars", according to Dr. Julius Vern, vice-administrator of NASA's International Space Station program, or they will destroy the vessel.
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