Paris Hilton Video Network to Launch Friday
Los Angeles, April 2, 2006 -- Paris Hilton, the well-known heiress and underground internet sensation, announced her new Paris Hilton Video Network will be officially launched Friday. The network will initially be available to an estimated 120 million cable television and satellite subscribers in the United States and Canada.
Ms. Hilton said the network will offer "an eclectic mix of cultural analysis, philosophical and political debate and scientific discovery coupled with an engaging mélange of traditional entertainments including movies, game shows, and situation comedies."
The Paris Hilton Video Network is the brainchild of Paris Hilton herself, who has "always shunned the limelight. But I felt I had something worthwhile to contribute to society, and, in my perhaps naive opinion, I felt the best way to do that would be through the production and promotion of high-quality programming distributed though an independent cable television network. Luckily," she added with a chuckle, "I could afford to buy one."
Paris Hilton will not be the first individual to launch a cable and satellite television network. In this effort, the youthful heiress is following in the footsteps of such media magnates as Ted Turner, founder of Turner Broadcasting Systems (TBS) and CNN, and Mike Bloomberg, creator of the Bloomberg financial network. Others, such as former Vice President Al Gore and Christian conservative Pat Robertson, have purchased or created networks to advance independent news or radical right-wing evangelical political agendas through the NewsWorld International news channel and the Christian Broadcasting Network, respectively.
"But there has been, as yet, no voice that specifically taps into the psyche of the unaffiliated young American intelligentsia," said Ms. Hilton. "The Paris Hilton Video Network, or PHVN, will attempt to correct that unfortunate imbalance."
According to Ms. Hilton, the Paris Hilton Video Network will include a broad range of programming hosted by, starring, or depicting the shy and retiring Ms. Hilton.
These will include: "Open Heart With Paris", a look at modern medical technologies in which Paris Hilton will participate in a different surgical procedure each week; "What About Why?", a daily one-hour philosophical analysis and debate program that will feature Ms. Hilton dissecting thorny philosophical issues with leading cutting-edge linguistic, metaphysical, epistemological, ethical and aesthetic philosophers; "Got Nobel?", a special series to be run each fall featuring interviews and "try-this-at-home" televised experiments with the latest batch of Nobel laureates; "Paris and Pundits", a daily political debate show featuring a six-member panel of leading political analysts with disparate ideological leanings who will go "head-to-head" on the latest hot-button social and political issues; and "Paris' Picks", a financial markets analysis and trends prediction program featuring Paris alone.
"In addition to the broad palette of cultural, intellectual and economic debate and analysis, we'll be offering a selection of populist material designed to engage younger and more entertainment-oriented viewers," said Ms. Hilton. These will include a full-length feature film premiere starring Paris Hilton each day. "Love stories, action-adventure, mysteries, and more along those general lines," said Ms. Hilton. "A certain base level of full-frontal nudity will be maintained throughout. Based on results from our focus groups, that should ensure a reasonably high guaranteed nightly viewership."
Daytime broadcasting will be composed of several game shows, including a geographical quiz show titled "Find Paris", together with a two-hour daily soap opera set in the 13th century entitled "Paris Knights". A half-hour daily "Paris Fashion" round-up featuring Ms. Hilton will highlight the hottest trends in haut-couture.
"I'll be much more than a simple clothes horse," Ms. Hilton pointed out. "What we'll be doing is exploring the cause-effect aspects of fashion trends in the context of geo-political and socio-economic developments, and with a substantive historical grounding. If anything, the emphasis will be largely anthropological."
For mature viewers, after-midnight programming will include what Ms. Hilton terms "a sizzling collection of private, candid video productions exploring various physical manifestations of human attraction".
Asked how it will be possible for one woman to single-handedly produce and star in such an enormous array of high-quality programming, Ms. Hilton said "I've always had a lot of energy, both natural and chemical, so that shouldn't be an issue. My one fear is that my exposure on the network may result in undesired intrusions into my private life. I certainly wouldn't want that to happen."
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
- 5 Interesting Facts about Sarah Palin's New Book
- 5 Observations from the Unsealed Court Documents that Barry Bonds Tested Positive for Steroids
- 5 Observations from Michael Phelps' Marijuana Bong Incident
- Super Bowl XLIII to Feature Real-time Biometric Player Data
- Pledging "Fresh, Clean Start", Disney Clones Britney
- Ecuadorean Peasant Named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive
- FBI to Test Televised Sting Operation with Who Wants to Be a Terrorist
- This Year's Best-Selling Most Popular Number One Halloween Costume
- 47 News Helicopters Collide Filming News Helicopter Collisions