New York, March 12, 2007 -- Rush Limbaugh, the well-known syndicated right-wing radio "dissonance-jockey" and top cheerleader for the ongoing Iraq war, has volunteered to serve an initial 12-month tour of active combat duty in Iraq.

Private Limbaugh's Armored Combat Winnebago

Washington, D.C., November 12, 2008 -- The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) appears set to respond to pressure from an insistent and shrill phalanx of self-described consumer watchdog groups that have demanded that the well-known TV and radio "bleep" be censored under public airwave obscenity laws. According to the groups, the "bleep", by serving as a placeholder for profanity, itself constitutes profanity, or, as the groups describe it, "meta-profanity".

Washington, D.C., August 22, 2008 -- A powerful anti-abortion phalanx of the Republican congressional majority has launched an initiative toward redefining age based on the group's fundamental "life begins at conception" premise. The initiative, if passed, will have the effect of adding approximately nine months to the official age of every American.

Redmond, Washington, April 29, 2006 -- Tom DeLay, the disgraced and indicted former exterminator turned former congressman who recently stepped down from his post as the disgraced former House Majority Leader in order to "spend time teaching orphans to gerrymander" has been hired by Microsoft Corp. to seek bugs in the long-awaited, cantankerous and top-heavy Microsoft Vista operating system, the long-overdue sequel to the long-despised, cantankerous and top-heavy Microsoft Windows XP.