Amsterdam, June 19, 2010 -- Greenpeace, the activist group known for its risky, but non-combative, worldwide efforts to protect the environment, declared today it has officially renounced non-violent tactics.

The Terminal Avenger, now with torpedoes

The act is seen as a reaction to an increasingly hostile activist environment that has frequently pitted Greenpeace in one-sided violent confrontation against both anti-environmentalist corporate interests and the often corrupt governments that support them.

New Orleans, August 9, 2006 -- In the catastrophic aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush warmed and reassured the hearts of Americans with the solemn promise that Senator Trent Lott, whose house had been lost in the hurricane, would receive a new, fantastic house built "out of the rubbles", on the porch of which the President would look forward to sitting.

Washington, D.C., February 14, 2006 -- ExxonMobil executives were surprised today by a Valentine's Day gift from President Bush and Vice President Cheney containing Godiva chocolates, 24 exquisite long-stemmed roses, and a $29 billion corporate welfare grant package consisting of tax breaks, tax incentives, reduced taxes, rebates on taxes both paid and unpaid, and several freight trains filled with cash. A spokesman for the grateful oil conglomerate said the company was "pleased as punch" by the subsidy and "would have something real nice for the whole gang when the time comes."

Bedford Falls, November 12, 2026 -- The revolutionary Yule-Mate Personal Holiday Robot from Christmas Industries, Inc. promises a solution to the leading causes of consumer holiday stress: the finding and delivering of thoughtful, appropriate Christmas presents to your loved ones, friends, associates, employees, and domestic staff.

Yule-Mate in Auto-gift mode