Washington, D.C. February 22, 2006 -- Due to the recent spate of early resignations and arrests, the Bush administration has been crippled by a lack of experienced staff in key positions. Scott McClellan today announced that the search for an experienced deputy chief of staff to replace the convicted Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove would be former greeting card writer Sherman Alberts.

Washington, D.C., June 12, 2009 -- Responding to growing public dissatisfaction with the administration of President Mayor Rudy Giuliani, the White House announced today the imminent appointment of a Czar Czar who will personally oversee and take charge of all of the administration's smaller, task-targeted czars.

President Mayor Rudy Giuliani at Inauguration Day After-party

Sea of Tranquility, March 22, 2015 -- McDonald's, the ubiquitous globe-girdling fast food purveyor, announced today it will be expanding its operations beyond the confines of the earth's atmosphere with the launch of the first lunar franchise. The move marks not only the very first non-terrestrial McDonald's retail dining establishment, but the first non-terrestrial commercial franchise of any kind whatsoever.

The McDonald's McMoon: Full McDonald's McMoon, viewed from rural Pork Knuckle, Idaho

Los Angeles, California January 15, 2009 -- As the saying goes, "for every good idea there are dozens of bad ideas." Rather than sort through the dozens of bad ideas and horrible inventions released onto the unwary public this year, the Avant News Consumer Advisory Committee along with the Avant News Public Awareness Department put together the following list of the 10 Worst Ideas and Inventions of 2008: