Fukushima, Japan, April 22, 2011 – The large, Godzilla-like aquatic creature that has appeared off the coast of Fukushima, Japan, was described by Tokyo Electric Power Co. chairman Tsunehisa Katsumata as a ”purely natural phenomenon” entirely unconnected to the ongoing crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. His assessment was subsequently confirmed by Japanese governmental authorities.

Beijing, August 18, 2043 -- Cloned giant pandas have overturned the government of Chinese President Yo in an unanticipated cuddly coup d'état, diplomatic observers reported yesterday. According to Mr. Liu Wei, spokesman for President Yo, the coup is the end result of a government experimental cloning project "gone horribly wrong".

Panda Wu, Revered Revolutionary Leader of the Panda's Republic of Panda

Bangkok, Thailand, July 9, 2007 -- For the first time since the inauguration of the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant in 1952, the coveted Miss Universe crown will be proudly borne by a being from beyond the Earth's immediate solar system. Dark horse entry Iittikkupt Wrttkkyl of the planet Oog in the 55 Cancri System upset favorites Candee Pakige of California, Sindee del Pinar of Rio de Janeiro and Casynella Ollivierre of St.

Atlanta, Georgia, March 22, 2007 -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, whose career was thought by virtually all observers to have evaporated in a hail of spittle in 1998, announced today that he will be seeking the Republican nomination for president in 2008. The former Speaker had hinted as early as the autumn of 2005 that he "could be cajoled to run, if the voice were soft and silky enough", but only with today's announcement does Mr. Gingrich's candidacy become official.