Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper to Make “Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies”

Malibu, California, February 24, 2008 -- At a rambunctious, rowdy, star-studded post-Oscar afterparty tonight here in Malibu, California, actors Dennis Hopper and Jack Nicholson announced they will be producing and starring in Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies, a sequel to the cult classic Easy Rider, sometime in the coming year.

Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper announce upcoming production of Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies

The long-awaited sequel, which Hopper has described as “the last thing Jack and I plan to do before we die”, is expected to premiere in September, 2009.

The original Easy Rider, produced in 1969, featured the young Dennis Hopper as a drug-addled motorcycle enthusiast who crisscrosses the nation with his companion, drug-addled motorcycle enthusiast Peter Fonda, on a vague quest for timeless truths as encapsulated in the girls-gone-wild licentiousness of a mythical and yet-to-be-discovered Xanadu-like New Orleans Mardi Gras celebration.

Their search leads them along many unexpected paths, rivers, rest stops, cul-de-sacs, fast-food emporia, bowling lanes and byways on their spiritual quest for karmic wisdom, including an unbelievably tiresome hour of cinematic purgatory on a commune known to its inhabitants as “for-god's-sake-just-chop-me-up-for-fertilizer and put-it-an-end-to-it-land”.

Undaunted, they low-ride ever closer to their dream, briefly making the acquaintance of Jack Nicholson, who plays the part of a boisterous suit too perennially intoxicated to realize he's actually The Man, for which misapprehension he is thankfully slain. The characters played by Hopper and Fonda are also subsequently executed in a drive-by shooting by local Republican primary voters.

The sequel, Easy Rider Too, is planned to premiere next year on the 40th anniversary of the original movie epic.

“Easy Rider Too: Cantakerous Old Hippies will take it to the next level,” Dennis Hopper is believed to have drawled, although his actual words were difficult to discern with precision given that his entire face was buried at the time deep in the synthetically buoyant bosom of 18-year-old starlet Kelly Boing, rumored to be currently affianced to conjoined twins Kevin Justin Federline Timberlake. “It has a whole new plot without any drugs at all except HGH, and that's been officially sanctioned by Sly Stallone, so get real.”

While plot details of Easy Rider Too remain sketchy due to the fact that Mr. Hopper vanished almost immediately after the announcement in the company of Ms. Boing, and that Mr. Nicholson also departed shortly following the announcement, apparently accompanied by 11 members of the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team, a source close to the actor-writer-producers, who asked not to be identified, said the following:

“Picture yourself on a boat by a fountain, okay, where plasticine porters eat marshmallow pies, you dig? Only the porters are over seventy, and their kaleidoscope eyes have glaucoma.”

Easy Rider Too: Cantankerous Old Hippies will be produced by Columbia Pictures.

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Entertainment Editor