In Surprise About-Face, Bill Clinton Backs Obama
Chicago, February 5, 2008 -- Astounding political pundits from Anchorage to Miami, former president Bill Clinton has rescinded his endorsement of spouse Hillary Clinton in favor of rock star Senator Barack Obama.
The endorsement, which some believe may create friction in the suburban Chappaqua home of Bill and Hillary Clinton, was explained by the former president as "a case of conscience over comfort."
"I know it seems like a strange thing to do, especially with Super Tuesday voting already underway," Mr. Clinton said at a Chicago, Illinois press conference this morning announcing the Obama endorsement. "But frankly, the more I thought about it, the more I decided Barack would make the better president. I just find him a lot more inspiring than Hillary, though they're both great and historical candidates. He gives me goose bumps when he talks. Hillary does too, but Barack's are the good kind. I had to get my gumption together and endorse him, and to heck with the consequences."
Mr. Clinton cleared his throat and shuffled his feet with what appeared to be nervousness before continuing:
"I also have to say I wasn't really looking forward to being 'First Laddie'. Garden parties, interior decorators, charity functions, Jesus. Count me out."
The endorsement was met with appreciation by the Barack Obama campaign. A spokesman for the Illinois senator, who was leading in most statewide polls going into Super Tuesday, said, "We've always been great admirers of President Clinton, and are delighted to see he's finally come around. The couch at Obama campaign headquarters will always be available if he needs a place to sleep."
A spokesman for the Hillary Clinton campaign, Wolf Howson, was less accepting of the former president's decision:
"You can tell Bill his suits will be forwarded by parcel post," Mr. Howson said. "And Hillary's keeping Seamus."
Seamus, a Labrador retriever owned by the Clinton family, has not yet formerly announced an endorsement.
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Marital Counselor
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